Her Perfect Gift: A Christmas Romance Page 5

  “So, are we going to talk about the other night or what? Because I haven’t wanted to speak about it until we we’re face to face, so I can find out what the hell happened. Because that wasn’t like you at all.”

  I sigh loudly and hang my head low. “I know, I’m sorry that I was so rude. I didn’t mean to be…”

  “I just told Harry that you were sick, that’s all,” Ivy reassures me. “But I don’t think that he bought it because he knew that there weren’t any vibes between you two, which is a shame. He’s a nice guy.”

  “I know!” I insist, feeling horrible now for the way that I took off at the speed of light without even saying goodbye. I was only thinking about myself and my need to get the hell away from Seth. “And I’m sorry about it. I didn’t mean to. I mean, yes I agree about there being no vibes, but it wasn’t that.”

  “Okay.” Ivy leans in closer and eyes me curiously. “So, what was it then? Because you did look ill.”

  I take a second before I blurt the word out. Mostly because I’m afraid to show the deep feelings that he has shooting through me. That damn dream didn’t exactly help things. The idea of him on top of me is too much. I can’t stop thinking about it and that’ll be all I can think about if I see him today.

  Oh, who am I kidding, if? Of course I’m going to see him today. There is no escaping it. The Christmas carnival is a big event for the town, but it’s small enough for me to not be able to avoid anyone. Even him.

  “Seth,” I finally whisper quietly. “He was there. In the bar. It seems like he’s back for the holidays.”

  Ivy is gob smacked, it’s evident in her face. She doesn’t know what to say. While she wasn’t around during high school to see our friendship turn into feelings, she was in my life around the time of the kiss and rejection, so she knows exactly who I mean when I say Seth and she also knows what this means to me.

  “But… but I thought that he lived in Hollywood now, and he never came back.” She glugs back a massive sip of wine. “It’s been hard enough for you to move on with him being in the public eye. Never mind being back here. Oh my God, you poor thing. You know if you told me, I would have helped you somehow.”

  I know that she would have. That’s part of the problem, she may have kicked his ass in public and ended up in the media for being the crazy bitch who attacked him. I also don’t want Seth to know how much he hurt me, because that’s just embarrassing, isn’t it?

  “I didn’t need anything. I just had to get out of there. It was too much for me.”

  “I can imagine. So, did he get your attention? Did he speak to you or did you manage to escape?”

  “He caught me.” I feel like shit as I say that aloud because it’s so embarrassing. “It was awkward. We had the briefest of chats, but I soon ran off. I couldn’t stand it. He’s too much for me. And now, today…”

  “Today you are going to have to see him.” Ivy nods knowingly. “It’s going to be a bad day.”

  “You think so?” I already thought that but having her say that to confirm my fears is a bit too much for me. “I don’t know, I know that it will be awkward, but I can try and avoid him as much as possible.”

  “You definitely should because no good can come from spending time with him again.” I cock my head curiously at her, begging her to continue, which she does. “He isn’t the same person that he used to be, is he? He isn’t the boy that you knew once upon a time. He will only hurt you all over again.” When she sees that I’m not getting it, she grabs the nearest newspaper to her and opens it up at a page which shows a picture of Seth now and his father when he was younger… both of them with a string of women in pictures underneath. “See what I mean? Men can’t help it. As soon as they get a bit of fame and women throw themselves at them, they follow their cocks and can’t help themselves. Seth is now an arrogant player who will fuck anything that walks.”

  Oh God, Ivy really means this. I can hear the passion in her words and her face has turned red with rage. My best friend wants to protect me from more pain… and while I agree with her it doesn’t make it any easier to digest. The person who I loved, doesn’t exist anymore. I almost grieve for the guy who I once saw a future with, my ‘meant to be’ who is gone.

  “I guess so,” I reply cautiously. “So, I will just keep out of his way then. Problem solved.”

  “Me and Adam will be there to protect you, and if I need to have a word with him then I will. Seth Bishop might not know me, but I know him, and I see his game.” She wiggles her finger with rage. “He can screw around with other women, but not you because you deserve more.”

  Yep, I really can’t tell her about the sex dreams, no way. She will kill me. Not that dreams mean I will act on anything, but that doesn’t matter. I really don’t think that Ivy will see it that way.

  I kinda want to defend the Bishop family, from the author of this article, because everything that has been said about his dad isn’t right. Well, not really. Sure, he might have been a player once upon a time, but I never saw that side of him. As far as I know, he’s always been single. According to Seth, that’s because his one true love was his mother, and she broke his heart when she ran off. He hasn’t been able to recover from it, which is actually really sad. Not that I can do anything to change that, but it’s still sad.

  “Well, anyway…” I suck in a deep panicky breath. “I suppose there isn’t anything that I can do but keep out of his way, because I won’t avoid the carnival just because he’s here. That isn’t fair.”

  Ivy wraps her arms around me. “Exactly. That’s the spirit. Fuck him, he doesn’t deserve your head space.”

  If only I could listen to Ivy and ignore him, push him from my brain and never think of him again, but of course I can’t control myself when I let my thoughts wander. They go wherever they want. And they always seem to want to go to Seth. I think about what he might be doing, who he’s hanging out with, what he’s thinking, what he thinks about me now and our strange interaction… it’s too much.

  “You go and get dressed,” Ivy insists. “Then me and Adam will come and pick you up to go to the carnival because I’m not having you go alone. Now, more than ever, you need back up.”

  I rise from my seat and smile thinly at her. As I thank her, I want to blurt out that I don’t just need her protection at the carnival, but at my home too because he’s there as well. Next door. There is no escaping him no matter what I do. But she might offer for me to stay with her and Adam and I don’t want to be a burden. They are so kind and would do anything for me, but I don’t want to be that friend… the one who needs endless help.

  So, instead, I hold my head high while I am in her sight and don’t let the fear get to me until I am around the corner and out of view from the hair dressing shop. Then, my shoulders roll forwards and my eyes hit the ground. My heart thunders so painfully in my chest that it could burst my ragged lungs and explode free from my chest. Ivy has given me a lot to think about when it comes to Seth, things that I haven’t really considered. I mean, he seems like himself, but he could not be. He might be a massive asshole. Just because I haven’t changed much doesn’t mean that he’s the same. I mean, I stayed here, didn’t I? I have kept the same life, whereas he has been through all sorts of things. He’s had a life which I can’t even begin to imagine. That I haven’t even thought of. The lights, the glamor, the parties, the fun… I bet it’s been incredible. Not boring and uneventful like mine.

  Oh God, and the women in those pictures… those beautiful women that literally come from the pages of magazines. And he has seen them naked. Oh God, my body is nothing compared to theirs. The dreams might be all fun and games, but in reality, it would be a different story. I would be so paranoid. Not the ideal situation for me. Not that it matters, it won’t make any difference because it isn’t happening. It will never happen. He isn’t going to come for me, is he? No way. Not anymore. He had a chance six years ago and fucked it up because he didn’t even call me.

  I need to look my
best. It might not make any difference, but I want to at least be as gorgeous as I can be to show him that I’m not affected by him, that I’m not bothered at all. That’s only a façade that I need to keep up for a little while longer until he goes home. Then if I need to, I can crumble. I can fall apart and then with the help of Ivy, pick myself back up again. Who knows, it might even be closure for me and I can finally move on from Seth Bishop, something that I definitely should have done a long time ago.

  Chapter Nine

  Seth

  December 24th

  I spin around and soak it all in, every bit of the Christmas carnival atmosphere, loving it. Why the hell haven’t I been here every single year? Why have I chosen places filled with people who I barely know and don’t care about? I did it to keep my career rolling, when I should have been here at home where everything feels right. Now, this is Christmas. This is the Christmas that I have always wanted, that really feels festive. It hasn’t stopped being Christmassy because I grew up and didn’t have anything to love about it anymore… it’s because I haven’t been at home. I haven’t been here, for this.

  I smile, and I vow to make every holiday here from now on. And not just for me, but for my father as well. He’s lit up since I have been here, transformed back into the happier version of himself, which makes me think that he’s shut down over the last few years. Secluded in a lonely bubble because I haven’t been around. That sucks. He has already had one person that he loves walking out on him. He doesn’t need me to do the same.

  So, while I can’t give up LA and Hollywood because it’s my dream come true, I also need to make some time for what’s important. Time for friends, time for my family, time for the life that I miss more than anything I know.

  “This is awesome, isn’t it?” Benji laughs as he hands me a warm festive beer in a plastic cup. “I’m so glad that you’re here. It’s been awesome having you around again. Especially since Freddie and the others have gone back home. They didn’t want to stick around for the holiday, which is fine…”

  I narrow my eyes at Benji, wondering how lonely he is here. He got a job after high school in his father’s company, which I’m not sure is his dream, but he’s content. Happy, I’m not so sure. I think he misses the life that we all had when we were younger, and we were all here. But that won’t happen again. We can’t go back to that place. We have all made other lives for ourselves, including Benji. But if I am going to be around, then there is no reason that me and him can’t hang out more. It could even be fun…

  “Me and you are here.” I grab him up in a playful hug. “That’s all we need, isn’t it? We have us, the music, food stalls, games, rides, Mr. Portwood from high school dressed as a bad version of Santa…”

  I let out a bellowing laugh and Benji eventually joins in. We laugh so hard that we bend double and grab on to our knees. Some of his beer splashes out on to the floor making us laugh harder.

  “Oh, by the way.” Once we stop laughing., I reach into my bag and grab out the gift that I purchased for Benji. One wrapped so wonderfully because the girl in the store did an incredible job. “Merry Christmas.”

  “Oh my God.” All of the color drains from Benji’s face. “The gift tradition. I totally forgot about it.”

  “That doesn’t happen anymore?” I ask, totally confused. “I never thought that would die.”

  “When you left and a couple of the guys went off to college, it just kinda… fell apart. Which means I didn’t think of it tonight, so I don’t have anything for you. I can’t take the gift… but thank you.”

  I roll my eyes and shove the present in his hands. “Haven’t you heard? I am rich and famous. I don’t need anything. I don’t want a gift from you. I just wanted to get you something. That’s all. Something to apologize because I haven’t been around for the last few years, and now, to bring back that tradition. Since I intend to come to the Christmas carnival every single year, no matter what, we can kick it back up again, can’t we? Make the carnival a big deal, so Fred and the others stick around for it in future. It used to be such a big part of our social lives. We can bring that back, can’t we? I think that would be fun.”

  Benji grins, looking happier than I have seen him since I have been back here. I can’t wait for him to tear open the paper and see the new phone that I got him. He has a really crappy first generation, shit, it’s probably the one he had back in high school, so I wanted to give him the latest model.

  “What did you do?” he gasps in shock. “This is a bit much, Seth, I can’t handle this…”

  “Benji, don’t worry about it. I wanted to. Don’t forget that when we were in high school, I was the one who couldn’t afford the best stuff. People always assumed that I should have been able to because of who my father was, and that I was just being selfish and stingy, except for you and my other close friends, I want to make up for it. So, please, take the phone and keep in touch with me more, okay?”

  Finally, after a couple of minutes, Benji accepts my generosity and he nods. “Okay, I will be better at keeping in touch, because you are back here now and you intend to be in my life more, so I will.”

  As we hug it out, I feel a bubble of happiness come over me. Spending my money on other people and finding a way to put a smile on their face is amazing and I love it. I want to do this more. Including the moment when I finally give Darcy her gift. The one that I purchased so excitedly because I just know that she will love it.

  “Right, come on, before we get emotional…” I laugh at Benji. “Let’s get some more drinks and mingle. If I remember right, the dancing will start soon, and I am looking forward to it.”

  “But you never dance.” Benji looks at me questioningly. “Unless you have changed that much?”

  “Nah, you know me. I just like to see everyone else having a good time. Let’s go.”

  I might have a secret motive here, because I know that Darcy will always be on the dance floor if she hasn’t one hundred percent changed in a dramatic way. She was always the first on and the last off, and she was the one who I wanted to watch have a good time. I used to agonize that I wasn’t confident enough to join her because while I’m self-assured in other areas, moving my body to music isn’t my strongest suit. Today I just want to see her. I don’t mind if she’s strange with me because I’m sure that my gift will bring her around.

  Sure enough, once me Benji have drinks and we position ourselves near the dance floor, I find her. Darcy, swinging her hips in perfect rhythm and laughing along with her friend. A friend that I don’t know, not one from high school, which shows that this town hasn’t stopped in time and stayed exactly the same, waiting for me.

  Seeing Darcy know someone who I don’t, makes my chest ache. It hits me how much I might have really missed out on when it comes to her. Looking at her now and feeling how she makes me feel, I honestly can’t understand how I turned my back on her, how I forgot about our romance, how I didn’t keep in touch with her to at least keep our friendship alive. How naïve was I in LA? I lost it all…

  “She is beautiful, isn’t she?” Benji whispers quietly to me. “I know that you can have all of the women in the world, but there is something special about Darcy McNeill, isn’t there? Something special about your first love.”

  I part my lips, about to argue with Benji that it was just a crush, not love with Darcy, but I don’t, because he’s probably right. It’s the closest thing that I have ever felt to love.

  “You should talk to her, Seth. Don’t let her slip through your fingers again, if she is the one for you. I’m not just saying that because I want you to come back here full time, because fuck me I have missed you, but because I think you two would be perfect together. You are like the perfect happy ever after.”

  “Do I have to choose though?” I ask him seriously. “Between LA and Darcy?”

  Of course, Benji doesn’t know the answer to that, so he simply shrugs and sends me on my way. I guess I don’t have much choice but to do what he commands
and follow the siren’s call to Darcy. I came here wanting to see her anyway, to see if we could have another Christmas kiss, so now it’s time to put that plan into action.

  Oh God. Nerves are starting to get the better of me, I’m practically shaking with anxiety. This isn’t how I normally feel around Darcy, but I can’t stop it.

  “Da… Darcy.” I tap her on the shoulder quickly before I can talk myself out of it. Otherwise, I will stand around like a loser, awkwardly staring at her, getting the attention of everyone else. “Darcy?”

  “Oh.”

  As she spins to face me, her eyes practically pop out of her head. Her gaze darts towards her friend, and I can see horror there. Yep, I definitely don’t see another Christmas kiss happening this year.

  “Seth.”

  Shit. I take a step backwards, not wanting to crowd her any more than I need to. I’m going to have to make this yet another short but sweet conversation, so she doesn’t freak out. I don’t want to ruin her night.

  “Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you dancing.” I reach in my bag and pull out the gift that I spent so long picking out, praying to any deity listening that she doesn’t totally hate it. “I know this isn’t a thing anymore, because Benji told me that the tradition already died, but I didn’t get the memo, so I got gifts.”

  I hand it to her, and she remains silent just staring at me like I have grown an extra head or something. She doesn’t open it, which is a shame, because I would have loved to see her reaction to it, but clearly, she needs to end this conversation now before it gets even more complicated. None of us want that.

  “Thank you, Seth,” she rasps back. “But obviously I don’t have anything for you…”