His Boss’s Daughter Page 5

  “Why are you fighting this?” she demands. “What is wrong with you? I don’t understand it.”

  “I… I…” I don’t have the words. I don’t know how I can explain this. It’s going to make everything super complicated, and also make me talk about things that I don’t usually like to. But perhaps that is what needs to happen to end this, once and for all. A girl like this won’t stick around if she knows the truth.

  “I think I deserve to know, don’t you?” she asks me with a little bit of vulnerability lacing her tone.

  In the end, it’s that which tips me over the edge. Alexa showing me anything other than the brazen person that she is on the outside, unlocks something within me and the words just spill passed my lips.

  “I haven’t been with anyone in the past year, okay?” Unhelpfully, tears prick at my eyes but I just about manage to hold them back. “I haven’t been with anyone since I lost my wife.”

  There’s a thick silence for a moment, before she speaks once more. “Lost… lost how?”

  “She… she died.” Even after all this time that word feels thick in my throat. I can hardly say it. I don’t think that it’s possible for anyone to fully get over losing someone in such a brutal manner. Such a shocking way, up turning my life in every single possible way. “She died while giving birth to our child.”

  “You… you had a wife?” she gasps, already backing away. I knew that this would happen, but that doesn’t stop it from hurting just a little bit. Or a lot actually. “You had a wife, and now you have a child?”

  I nod, because she phrased it like a question. But it’s obvious, wasn’t it? I’m not the sort of man who would leave my child, even after that sort of trauma. I didn’t even consider it for a moment.

  “Yes, so that’s why I don’t… you know, get involved easily. Because… Well, because…”

  I don’t know what to say, there aren’t any words to explain what I’m feeling. Because I’m not still caught up in it all, but I’m not exactly in the healthiest place in the world either. I’m stuck, still in this rut.

  “I see.” I can see the questions floating across Alexa’s face, but she doesn’t know how to ask any of them, so she just doesn’t. “Well, that’s… I’m sorry to hear about that.”

  I stuff my hands in my pockets and avert my eyes. I want to blink the tears away in peace, the last thing I need is for her to see them. That would be the end of anything here… even if that is what I am trying to achieve, I didn’t want the sheer humiliation to go with it. Any minute now, I will make my excuses and go.

  “Let’s walk,” Alexa suddenly announces while taking my arm in her hand. “Just for a moment.”

  I’m so pathetically grateful for the moment of relief, the fact that if we are moving forwards then she won’t be looking at my face, so I happily go with her. It’s actually kind of nice to be walking in time with someone else. It isn’t an understanding or anything, it never will be, but it’s certainly better than being completely alone.

  No one will ever know this unless they’ve been through it, I remind myself. At least she hasn’t run yet.

  “Tell me about it,” she finally announces. “About her. About what happened. Tell me anything.”

  “Erm, I…” I wasn’t expecting that at all. Especially from someone who was trying to kiss me only moments before. I judged her, assumed that she was shallow and not someone that I ever wanted to be in my life, but maybe there’s more below the surface, I just haven’t yet discovered it. “I don’t know where to start…”

  “Start at the beginning,” she replies with a real kindness to her tone.

  So, I do. I start with the meeting in the pub and the romance that blossomed. Then I go on to our wedding day, which I only describe briefly, but it’s uplifting to do so. To remember when me and Christine were at our best. There are times when I’m so hurt, I can barely recall that what we shared did have its beauty.

  “Wow, she sounds like an incredible woman,” Alexa said with a nod. “You must have been so happy.”

  “Most of the time, we were, but I guess there were times when not so much.” She doesn’t say anything which encourages me to continue. “Conception was hard… because it wasn’t happening. That was a dark time for the both of us. I guess…” I sigh loudly. “I guess we just didn’t think that our troubles were only just beginning when she conceived. If we’d have known… I mean, not that I would change Oliver for anything in the world, but…”

  “So, she died in child birth? After a long time of trying to get pregnant? That must have been…”

  “It was just after, actually. Because of a complication with her heart. So, at least she got to meet Oliver.”

  She rubs her hand on my arm, but this time it’s more of a friendly gesture than anything else, for which I’m utterly grateful. I couldn’t cope with any more emotion’s while having this conversation.

  “And then you raised your boy alone. That’s really something impressive.”

  “I do have the help of the nanny. Although Valencia is…”

  “Valencia?” She snaps. “Did my father recommend her?”

  I nod and laugh as the face she pulls says it all. Clearly, this is someone that she knows and doesn’t like. I think soon I might have to really consider whether Valencia has a place in my home and family. But once my head is in a better place, because more upheaval isn’t something that I can handle right now.

  “Well, it sounds to me that while you have had hardship, you’re also doing really well, so you should be proud of yourself.” Alexa gives me the warmest smile that I have ever seen cross her face. “You’re a good man.”

  “Oh, I’m only doing what anyone else would.” My instinct is to try and play the compliment down a bit. “But thank you, it’s always nice to hear someone say that you’re doing a good job.”

  There’s a weird fluttery feeling in my heart. I don’t know what it means or what to do with it, and it won’t stop. It seems like I’m sinking further into the trap and I don’t know if I want to resist anymore.

  Chapter Eight

  Alexa

  Wow, this is really something. I dart my eyes towards Reece, wondering what this weird feeling is inside my heart. He isn’t the man that I thought he was, he’s so much more. He’s… I don’t know, kind of wonderful. The way that he’s handled such trauma is special. I’m weirdly in awe of him. I see a tower of strength who carried on in the face of adversity. Who survived the worst thing that could have ever happened. I mean, if that were me, I’m sure that I would have crumbled. Crumbled and fallen apart. Lost my freaking mind.

  Every time I look at him now, I don’t see the challenge that I once did. I don’t feel that same predatorial need to grab him, to pounce on him like a tiger. It isn’t that… it’s something else. Something more intense.

  I don’t actually like him, do I? I squirm awkwardly, I don’t know what I can do with this sensation. It isn’t something that I’m used to and it’s weird. It doesn’t sit right in the pit of my stomach. Everything fluttering and sizzling, twisting and turning. It’s like an oddly nauseous sensation. No, I can’t possibly really like him.

  I don’t like anyone anymore, not like that. Not for more than just some fun. If I keep my heart protected then I won’t get hurt again. That hasn’t even really been my policy before, it’s just kind of happened. Until now. Now, I don’t know what’s going on. I’m messy and raw, vulnerable as well.

  “So, erm… right.” I don’t know how to talk to him like he’s a real person, rather than my next target. I can’t use my usual tricks now to get under his skin. I probably shouldn’t have asked him to get all deep and personal with me. That was a mistake. I was just intrigued, that was all. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

  “I’m sorry, I know it’s a bit heavy. That wasn’t what I intended.”

  “No.” I shake my head. “It was my fault. I was the one who asked. And I’m glad that you did tell me.”

  “Yes. Well.”
He’s awkward. His shoulders hunch up around his ears. “I see.”

  I really don’t know what to say. There are words inside me somewhere, I just can’t keep to seek them out. My head is spinning, my thoughts churning, my heart pounding like crazy. Reece is having a real effect on me.

  “This is why I don’t usually tell anyone about what happened. It’s… awkward, I know.”

  God, I feel even worse knowing that I’m making him feel even worse. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I just comfort him like a normal person would? My fists squeeze by my side, I’m growing increasingly desperate by the moment. If I don’t get out of here soon, I’m going to say something I really regret…

  Just say something, I command myself. Say something comforting. Be a nice person.

  “I think I probably better go,” I say with a false smile. “I have, you know, things to do.”

  “Oh, right.” The hurt plasters across his face. “I see. Of course you do. I do too.”

  “So, I guess I will see you soon then.” I back away almost as an automatic reaction. “Maybe.”

  “Right, yes. Soon. Perhaps. If the situation arises once more, which I guess it could sometime.”

  We’re both stepping away from one another, unable to stand in each other’s presence any longer. He looks like he’s really struggling with everything that’s happened, which makes me feel utterly terrible. He’s opened up his heart to me, spilled the beans about the worst thing that’s ever happened to him, and I have reacted in the worst way possible. I’ve become uncomfortable and strained.

  I spin around and move quickly, unable to look at him anymore. His eyes are burning into the back of my neck though, he’s still looking at me even though I’m going, and that’s even worse. The worse thing is that I do always get what I want, and I think that he might be in my trap now. He wants me just as I’m backing away.

  You idiot! I scream at myself, silently. You absolute fucking idiot.

  Tears prick my eyes, irritated tears that burn and sting. I pick up the speed even more, practically running to get away from him. I intended to get a cab home since I’m still more than a little hung over, but now all I want to do is walk off this feeling until it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’m usually pretty good at that.

  “Shit.” I grab out my cell phone, needing to speak to someone. “Fucking hell.”

  I don’t know if she’ll understand, but there really is only one person that I can speak to about this, so I call Rebecca. As the phone rings, I move even faster than before, knocking in to people as I go.

  “Hey there, bitch!” she practically squeals with excitement. “How did it go with the old fucker?”

  “Huh?” What the hell is she talking about? “Old fucker?” Does she know about Reece already?

  “You know, your dad. Wasn’t he giving you an ear bashing this morning?”

  “Ah!” Of course. My lie comes flooding back to me. “Yeah, yeah. He was really mad about me being out so late last night. You know what he’s like. I can’t ever creep in without waking him up.”

  “You need to move out of that place. He’s really sucking the life out of you.”

  I roll my eyes. Just because Rebecca has a pokey little apartment that belongs to her uncle, so doesn’t really cost her any rent at all, she thinks that I’m in the wrong for my life choices. So annoying.

  “Yeah, yeah. I know. And I will when I can afford to. I need a better job first.”

  “Are you even looking for another job? Because it doesn’t seem like you are. You barely even work.”

  “Look, I didn’t call you to talk about work.” I shake my head, trying to get her criticisms about my career out of my head. That really is the last thing I need to think about right now. “I called to talk to you about a real issue I have. I don’t… I don’t know what to do about it. I’m stuck, and freaked out.”

  “What’s going on? You sound all crazy. Are you still drunk or something?”

  “No, no. I’m not drunk. Well, maybe I am a little bit, I don’t know.” I rub my head, willing this brand new head ache that seems to have come from nowhere away. “I met up with Reece today…”

  “Who the fuck is Reece? Is that someone you hooked up with last night?”

  “It’s…” Oh God, where do I begin? “He’s my dad’s friend. You know the one who came for dinner the other night. Well he… he was at the club last night, and we got talking there too, and he isn’t…”

  “Isn’t he another boring old fucker? Like your dad I mean… no offence.”

  “Yeah, none taken. But he isn’t like that. He’s younger, and quite good looking.”

  “Oh no, you don’t have the hots for your father’s friend, do you?” She cackles with laughter. “That’s classic. Talk about a taboo romance. You and your dad’s mate. Wow, that’s going to be wild.”

  “No, no, it isn’t like that. It isn’t like that at all. He’s just… I don’t know, I can’t find the words.”

  “You love him!” she declared in a sing song tone of voice. “You love this guy. Oh wow.”

  “No, I don’t.” A heat burns in my cheeks. I’m actually embarrassed about this. “Plus, he’s complicated. He has issues. His wife died in child birth, so he’s raising his child alone.”

  “Oh wow, no way. That’s…” She didn’t sound impressed. “That’s awful. You don’t want to end up in that. That’s just messy. I mean, do you really want to be a step mommy? Oh my God, can you imagine?”

  She cackled once more, this time the sound kind of offending me. Yes, it’s drama and not exactly what I’m looking for, but I could deal with it. I’m mature enough. I could be a step… mommy…

  Okay, maybe not. Maybe that isn’t exactly where I want to be in life, but still.

  “Yes, I’m better off,” I reply coldly. “Right, well I better get going.”

  “Do you want to go out tonight? It’s going to be banging again tonight. There’s a guest DJ…”

  “I don’t think so. I have to work tomorrow and I don’t want to be hung over.”

  “Oh, because you care so much about your job now, do you? Hilarious…”

  “I do care about my job actually.” Okay, that might be a bit of a lie, but I need to defend myself.

  “No, you don’t. You spend most of your time sleeping while you’re there.”

  “Well, it’s a stepping stone, isn’t it? A step in the right direction.”

  “Sure, sure. Well, when you get up on to that step, be sure to let me know.”

  “Right, well thanks for your support, Rebecca. That was really something.”

  “Oh, don’t be like that…” she groaned. “Come on, I’m just having fun…”

  I say goodbye quickly and I hang up the phone, not wanting to speak to Rebecca any longer. She wasn’t the best person for me to discuss this with actually. I might need some more mature friends.

  As I get home, I collapse onto my bed and groan loudly. Thank God, Dad didn’t hear me coming in, I really just need some time alone to digest all of this. It’s too much for me. Everything. Rebecca and her uselessness, my dad and the yelling that I’m still sure is going to come at some point, and Reece… Reece Moore.

  I turn on to my side and allow him to fill my brain. The man who I never expected to walk into my life and turn things upside down, the man who I just thought was going to be a bit of fun.

  “What am I going to do?” I moan, the frustration coursing through my veins. “What do I do about him?”

  I stare at his name in my cell phone, wishing that I could message him to say something to make it all the better. But if I couldn’t find the words in person, I’m unlikely to do it in text form, am I? And I shouldn’t even want to really, because he’s all wrong for me in so many ways, for so many reasons. I mean, I couldn’t be a step mother, could I? That isn’t in the cards. I’m too selfish and immature for that. Even if I don’t want to be.

  But could I be better? I suppose I could, couldn’t I? If I had som
ething to fight for. I could get off my ass and get a better job if I really put my heart into it. I could move out of here, and get a life for myself. I could be the mature woman who could actually date a nice man, rather than screw around with boys. I could even meet Reece’s child and be a good person for him. Not in a step mother way, but in a… friendly way.

  I actually like this thought, the idea that I could be more than I already am. I’ve never really been bothered before, but I could. And maybe I should. I should get started with this right away. Well… maybe not right now. I’m still too exhausted at the moment now to move, but I will soon. For sure.

  When I’m better, feeling more by myself, then I will improve myself and maybe call Reece once more. If he’ll ever want to speak to me again after what happened today. I don’t know if he will. I sure as hell wouldn’t.

  Chapter Nine

  Reece

  Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

  Even though I’m not asleep, there’s something a little shocking about that sound. It seems louder than it should do, making me almost leap off my bed. Perhaps that’s because I was so lost in my thoughts, thinking only about Alexa, and what happened today. I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. I don’t know if I’m the one who’s done something wrong, or it’s her. Even though she asked me to open up to her, maybe I shouldn’t have done so. I know that it’s a lot to take in for anyone. It would be a lot for me to handle if I were on the other end of it.

  “Alexa?” I mutter to myself as I stare at the screen. “Is this for real?”

  Maybe I fell asleep and now I’m dreaming. I am laying in bed after all. Perhaps I drifted off and now I’m just in this crazy fantasy world… even if this feels incredibly real. I mean, she wouldn’t actually be calling me, would she? After running off like that, clearly afraid of all the heavy stuff I laid on her. No way.

  But it is her name, and the ringing is oddly insistent. Like something is compelling me to answer. I don’t want to, I certainly don’t think that it’s a good idea since the main reason I did tell her was to put a short, sharp end to thinks between us, but I oddly want to all the same. I want to know whatever she has to say.